Learning and Growing

Just when questions and worries threaten to cloud the skies over me the universe sends me the answers and reassurances that I need. Mr. Something and I are continuing to work our way through Dr. Ray Guarendi’s Adoption: Choosing It, Living It, Loving It. Less than an hour after my last post, with nothing but what-if’s? buzzing around my head and we came to the following passage (p. 42)…

“The number of people wanting and willing to adopt would be higher except for one thing–they’re scared. An adoption colleague of mine calls it “the fear factor.” It’s fueled by a group of worries and what-if’s? that have the potential to squash any serious thought of adopting.

Psychologists advise that one way to reduce the controlling power of fears is to challenge them rationally. In other words, what is the real likelihood they will happen? What is the actual probability something will adversely affect our lives?

Surveys have shown that most people fear more those risks less likely to befall them–shark bites, terrorists attacks, air crashes, abductions–than those more so. I won’t identify those here for fear of raising your anxiety.

So too in adoption–the anxieties that keep some from adopting are, thankfully, far less real than the media, the conventional wisdom (an oxymoron) and popular notions present. Let’s rationally confront some common worries much less likely to occur than is pervasively believed.”

Weight lifted. Clouds parted. Again, it all seems so simple. Thank you, Dr. Ray! I have noticed as the hustle and bustle of the work week takes over, the worries and doubts settle around me. But one conversation into it with Mr. Something and I remember that we are a great team. We’ve been on the same page every step of the way and I am stronger with him by my side.

I am knee-deep into another great read. Award-winning mom blogger, Kelle Hampton, has published her first book this week. I have been following her blog, Enjoying the Small Things, for two years as she has blogged about her journey of growth and discovery upon giving birth to a girl with (unexpected) Down Syndrom. Bloom By Kelle HamptonIn her book, Bloom: Finding Beauty in the Unexpected, Kelle was reflecting on reading A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller and shared this precious nugget of insight (p. 2)…

 “The book spoke of the power of challenges–how living a life of comfort does nothing to make us grow, and how hard times shape us into interesting, developed characters. By the end of the book, I was inspired. Inspired to write a new story for our life–inspired to face challenges and leave my comfort zone and go through hard things because that is what turns the screenplays of our lives from boring to Oscar-worthy.”

It lit a fire within me. Although I have always been a rule follower something within me always longed to dance to the beat of a different drummer, to do something different, something more. Is this my chance?

Last night we watched the second half of an incredible video that I found on the Adopt Us Kids website. Two hours of personal accounts from foster care adoption families, adopted children, and men and women that aged out of the system provided a big slice of adoption education for us. It was an incredible overview of the benefits of foster care adoption and the first steps to take. I highly recommend it for anyone considering foster care adoption.