It’s a Big Deal Now

I’m not doing enough fast enough. After meeting Mr. Something’s cousin last week, in desperate need of a stable home, I’ve been restless. Our Tiny Human Project has a name and a face. Today I sent her a gift. It was an “It was so great to meet you and we can’t wait to see you again” gift. Okay, so it was more like an “I think you changed my life forever and I want to drive those 12 hours back to you, put you in my pocket, and show you how safe, and loving, and wonderful the world can be” gift but I thought that would be a bit too intense for the pretty pink and sparkly greeting card I included in the package!

I took a ridiculous amount of time picking out books to send to her. Of course books. I’m an elementary school teacher with an advanced degree in reading and literacy. I know how powerful a book can be. So I looked for the perfect ones. It was as if my life depended on it as I weighed the options of sensible alphabet and color books or endearing storybooks. (I ended up with one of each!) If I could just send along a little bit of joy, something to make her smile, at least I’m doing something.

Despite the time and thought I put into finding the right books, the exact wording I put in the card, and the little flowers I drew on the envelope, I’m trying to keep myself in check. Even as troubled as her family life may be, I can’t expect her parents and grandmother to simply say, “Please take this little girl into your home and give her the life she deserves.” It’s sticky, oh so sticky. But either way I know there is a child out there somewhere that needs us. My heart is breaking but I’m thrilled at the same time because I know that this will become the hardest but most fulfilling thing I ever do.

I can confidently say that I’m ready to lead a selfless life. From everyday moments to bigger events I’ve been picturing a tiny human there along side of us, making everything more important, more special, more meaningful.  I’m ready to shout it from the rooftops that this is the path we have chosen, not because we were forced to make the choice but because something deep inside me knows that I am meant to do something bigger than myself, different than “the norm.”

I’ve started to wade into the world of foster/adoption agencies and I am already a bit overwhelmed. The websites have so much information and seem to be an endless maze of links. Right now my biggest question is if agencies are mainly state based or if they easily support foster care adoption between states. If anyone has any agency finding advice I will gladly take it! Moving forward. 🙂

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5 thoughts on “It’s a Big Deal Now

  1. I’ve been reading your blog now and am a bit confused — are you saying that this child is a relative of yours? Are they in foster care? To my knowledge, in many (or most) cases, if one is a relative of a child in foster care, one can skip the training and licensing. In fact, I can think of two instances I have personal experience with (in two different states) in which people became guardians to children w/o any training or licensing because they knew they child or were related to the child.

    Therefore, *if* this child needs a home now & if you’re related to her, you shouldn’t necessarily need to go the traditional route. You’d want to contact the state (where the child lives) directly and go from there.

    If this child is NOT in foster care and/or the parents are still the “official” guardians, you may need to figure this out, too, but this also could be resolved by talking to someone in the state or county where the child lives (after speaking with the parents/current caregivers of the child, of course).

    • Thanks for the comment! The girl is not in foster care, her parents still have all rights but it is her grandmother that is reluctantly looking after her right now. At this point we don’t even know if they would entertain the idea of us adopting her. I’ve looked into some of the state laws and even if it’s a family member, in some cases, the child has to either already have a close relationship with the family member (we just met her for one day) or live with that family member for a year under foster conditions before adoption. Mr. Something and I want to go through the licensing process for a few reasons…

      -Classes to help us know what to expect when bringing an adopted child into our home and raising a child that had an unstable childhood.

      -If we are given the chance to bring Mr. Something’s cousin into our home but have to build a case for it (since we don’t have a relationship already established with her) being a licensed foster home could only help us.

      -We are and would be open to foster care adoption of another child/children if there is nothing we can do for her.

      It just so difficult to wade through all of the information out there. It’s hard to know where to start! Thanks again for checking in!

      • I think it’s great to get licensed (gonna be doing that myself soon! 🙂 ) but in this particular instance, it may not be necessary, i.e., you could get the ball rolling sooner than the 4 months or so it’ll take to get licensed. And if the parents wanted you to adopt the child, I don’t quite see why you would even have to go through the system at all, you could just hire a lawyer. I think. Might be worth a call to a lawyer to see! And then a call to grandmother to “feel out” the situation,

      • “Feeling out” the situation is already part of the plan. We haven’t really told anyone about our idea to pursue foster care adoption yet but once we do I’m thinking that enough family members will connect the dots. Any other way and I’d feel like I was knocking on their door asking them for their child! A big downside to pursuing this idea is exactly what you mentioned… hire a lawyer. That’s something that we can’t even think about affording right now. One of the many appealing aspects of foster care adoption is that it’s all part of the deal and cost is really low. As of now, she’s not in foster care. It’s all speculation right now. I’m just hoping to connect with an agency soon and get my head wrapped around the possibilities. Thanks again for your input! 🙂

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