I’m not doing enough fast enough. After meeting Mr. Something’s cousin last week, in desperate need of a stable home, I’ve been restless. Our Tiny Human Project has a name and a face. Today I sent her a gift. It was an “It was so great to meet you and we can’t wait to see you again” gift. Okay, so it was more like an “I think you changed my life forever and I want to drive those 12 hours back to you, put you in my pocket, and show you how safe, and loving, and wonderful the world can be” gift but I thought that would be a bit too intense for the pretty pink and sparkly greeting card I included in the package!
I took a ridiculous amount of time picking out books to send to her. Of course books. I’m an elementary school teacher with an advanced degree in reading and literacy. I know how powerful a book can be. So I looked for the perfect ones. It was as if my life depended on it as I weighed the options of sensible alphabet and color books or endearing storybooks. (I ended up with one of each!) If I could just send along a little bit of joy, something to make her smile, at least I’m doing something.
Despite the time and thought I put into finding the right books, the exact wording I put in the card, and the little flowers I drew on the envelope, I’m trying to keep myself in check. Even as troubled as her family life may be, I can’t expect her parents and grandmother to simply say, “Please take this little girl into your home and give her the life she deserves.” It’s sticky, oh so sticky. But either way I know there is a child out there somewhere that needs us. My heart is breaking but I’m thrilled at the same time because I know that this will become the hardest but most fulfilling thing I ever do.
I can confidently say that I’m ready to lead a selfless life. From everyday moments to bigger events I’ve been picturing a tiny human there along side of us, making everything more important, more special, more meaningful. I’m ready to shout it from the rooftops that this is the path we have chosen, not because we were forced to make the choice but because something deep inside me knows that I am meant to do something bigger than myself, different than “the norm.”
I’ve started to wade into the world of foster/adoption agencies and I am already a bit overwhelmed. The websites have so much information and seem to be an endless maze of links. Right now my biggest question is if agencies are mainly state based or if they easily support foster care adoption between states. If anyone has any agency finding advice I will gladly take it! Moving forward. 🙂