A smattering of THP conversations ensued over the last few days. I love how Mr. Something or I will bring it up like we are already in the middle of the conversation even if it is the first mention of it that day. “So… how would you feel about a sibling group? Like two at once?” Certain he was going to call me crazy, I was surprised when he was totally open to the idea. (I really need to give Mr. Something more credit!) I have been reading many stories written by adults that were adopted as a children and there is always an underlying theme of not fitting in or wondering about the unknown genes that made them who they are. Wouldn’t the journey be eased if you had a sibling by your side? A blood sibling that shares your past, however harmful or painful it may have been. I had a perfectly delightful upbringing but I still couldn’t imagine going through it without my sister by my side. So, perhaps our options have grown. We have always agreed that two would be a great number, why do they have to be one at a time?
I have spent a fair amount of time on www.adoptuskids.org and have found it to be incredibly helpful and informative resource. They lay out seven steps in the adoption process, the first being to educate yourself. We are firmly lodged in that step. Today we took our education beyond my laptop screen and wandered into the parenting section of our local bookstore. Just standing in that particular section made me feel like I was playing dress-up in my mom’s too-big high heels and costume jewelry. Yes, I’m almost thirty but I still have difficulty thinking of myself as an adult, forget about considering myself as someone’s mother! There was a small but good selection of books on adoption. I quickly scanned the back covers and weeded out the international adoption guides, the infant adoptions, and the “Idiot’s Guide…” (I know they can be a great resource but Mr. Something and I agreed that wasn’t quite where we wanted to start.) I settled on Adoption; Choosing It, Living It, Loving It by Dr. Ray Guarendi, it seems to be a great overview of the entire process without focusing too much on one area. Mr. Something and I are looking forward to reading it together. If anyone has any additional resource recommendations to help us “get our feet wet” it would be greatly appreciated!
As we stepped up to the cashier the man ringing us up looked over our purchase. “Adoption, huh?” I smiled a nodded, not sure where the conversation was going to go. He proceeded to share with us that him and his wife adopted an infant girl six years ago. They received the call that they had been selected on the day she was born and hurried off to welcome her into their family without so much as a crib ready to go. He also shared that they have now been waiting for four years for child number two to join their family. He asked if we were interested in domestic or international adoption and we were quick to share our thoughts about foster care adoption. He wished us luck and we were on our way. It was my first real live conversation about the THP and I was immediately grateful for the book in my bag. I want to know more, I want to talk more. I want to discover if this is to be our story.