We have agreed to each tell one friend, for now, about our idea of pursuing foster care adoption. I can’t see our families being anything but supportive but we want to be more sure before the world knows. We want to make up our minds for ourselves. Mr. Something ended up talking to a work friend who is engaged to a woman that has two preteen children from a previous marriage. He provided fabulous insight and answered tricky questions like, “Do you think they will ever feel like yours?” I have yet to tell a friend, the moment, the conversation hasn’t presented itself yet. I am excited to talk about it, which is probably why I have pursued this blog.
A few days ago, we had friends of ours over for dinner and board games. One of the games we played involved a certain amount of drawing. My husband, having gone to art school, is extremely creative and artistic. I have also always had quite the imagination and a fair amount of natural artistic talent. Our friends made a comment something like, “Man, your children are going to be ridiculously talented!” Mr. Something and I exchanged a quiet look and we had our first THP moment that didn’t inspire a secret high-five. The potential of maybe someday biological children is a very real “con” on the list. What if our own biological children could be the next great [fill in the blank]? Art school, film school, music, design, the possibilities are endless… we can’t deny our own innate creativity what would that look like doubled and and divided into a miniature us?
The argument goes the other way as well. I look at the faces of the children in the photolisting and think, “What could they make of themselves if they had the comfort and stability of a forever home?” How much more rewarding would it be to know that you are opening doors for a child that might otherwise be backed into a corner?I’m not setting out to be named a Saint but the selflessness of this option stirs something within me like no other someday does.
I have always had a certain amount of curiosity in what our own biological children could be like. Would they get his hazel eyes and my curly hair? It was always a curiosity more akin to a science experiment than a life decision. Am I really willing to walk away from that curiosity? Couldn’t we always start with foster care adoption and expand our family with a biological child later or would that be detrimental to the well-being and stability of the child we adopted into our home? I don’t know how I feel about that.
Questions. Questions. Thoughts. Thoughts…